For Pity's Sake

This morning, as I headed out for my pre-mapped 6.6 mile run, I was fuming. It was one of those mornings with the kiddos filled with the heavenly sounds of screaming, yelling, biting and hitting. In short, it was awesome. J had worked late the night before (and stayed up even later pretending to be a cattle rustler on Red Dead Redemption, but that's another story) so I let him sleep until nine before I sweetly announced that I was leaving for my run. And may never come back.

I was scheduled to run 6 this morning, so I padded it by .6 since I've been walking a good quarter to half-mile in the beginning of late and I was already about .2 down the road when I realized there was an x over the heart icon on Pam's face. Shoot, I forgot my heart rate monitor! When I was about .6 down the road, I went to swallow and realized I hadn't put my customary stick of Orbitz gum in so I had something to gnaw on. Crap! No gum? Chewing gum is what helps me get over the fact that I don't have water. I have a fuel belt, but I'm saving that dork-tastic muffin-top creation for my 8+ runs. Nobody looks cool with a fanny pack, so having a fanny pack with two water bottles coming off the sides? Yes, my sentiments exactly.

I was scheming how I'd break down the beds and separate them into two bedrooms with puritanical furnishings and zero toys, since they don't appreciate ANYTHING and I licked my lips. No lipgloss. NO LIPGLOSS?! I can't run without a healthy smattering of Juicy Tube slathered across my mug!!! At just under 2 miles into a 6.6 mile run, I was being the biggest whiny beyatch you've ever met. Ever. Pam was way ahead of me. Having a hard time catching my breath through the iron curtain that is my new sports bra (though after 6 plus miles of zero bounce, I have to say God love you, Moving Comfort), I was just not feeling it.

Maybe I should just turn around. How am I ever going to run 26.2? What the eff was I thinking?! Then I turned a corner, literally, and looked at my watch to realize I had utterly wasted almost 2.5 miles of what could still be a great run.


As I was peeling off my gloves and shoving them in my waistband because this glorious weather just didn't require them anymore I found myself thinking, Get over yourself! I'm sure there are orphans in the Sudan who don't cry over lip-gloss and bubble gum. I picked up the pace, fell into stride and caught my breath. I kept setting my sites on landmarks, passing them, and setting sites again. I looked down at one point and was about to go into a snit when I thought my watch had stopped timing, but it was just zeroed out because I'd looked down at just the point that I caught up to my virtual Pam and was pulling ahead.

Zen took over and I started to think that maybe my kids weren't so bad after all. When I got home, I'd have a rational conversation with them, and try to be a better model of how I want them to act. Nobody likes mean mommy.

Another glance told me I was 15 seconds ahead of Pam now, no way was I going to take a walking break. Since I've started using my garmin, I'd yet to beat my virtual training partner and I'd be damned if I was going to lose that chance now! As I turned into my little neighborhood, I realized I'd beat my last 10k time by almost four minutes, and I'd run a half-mile further.

A quick stroll down the block and back to cool down and I was ready to greet the rest of the day with a clear head and a positive attitude. I'm so glad that I rediscovered running for more reasons that I can name with perhaps the greatest being that I know I'm a better mother when I've given myself the gift of time. And lipgloss and gum.

With the real Pam in Massachusetts after what I still feel was my best run ever. 11.7 miles of sheer bliss through the country-side with some wicked hills and I ran the whole thing!