Saturday, January 15, 2011

For Pity's Sake

This morning, as I headed out for my pre-mapped 6.6 mile run, I was fuming. It was one of those mornings with the kiddos filled with the heavenly sounds of screaming, yelling, biting and hitting. In short, it was awesome. J had worked late the night before (and stayed up even later pretending to be a cattle rustler on Red Dead Redemption, but that's another story) so I let him sleep until nine before I sweetly announced that I was leaving for my run. And may never come back.

I was scheduled to run 6 this morning, so I padded it by .6 since I've been walking a good quarter to half-mile in the beginning of late and I was already about .2 down the road when I realized there was an x over the heart icon on Pam's face. Shoot, I forgot my heart rate monitor! When I was about .6 down the road, I went to swallow and realized I hadn't put my customary stick of Orbitz gum in so I had something to gnaw on. Crap! No gum? Chewing gum is what helps me get over the fact that I don't have water. I have a fuel belt, but I'm saving that dork-tastic muffin-top creation for my 8+ runs. Nobody looks cool with a fanny pack, so having a fanny pack with two water bottles coming off the sides? Yes, my sentiments exactly.

I was scheming how I'd break down the beds and separate them into two bedrooms with puritanical furnishings and zero toys, since they don't appreciate ANYTHING and I licked my lips. No lipgloss. NO LIPGLOSS?! I can't run without a healthy smattering of Juicy Tube slathered across my mug!!! At just under 2 miles into a 6.6 mile run, I was being the biggest whiny beyatch you've ever met. Ever. Pam was way ahead of me. Having a hard time catching my breath through the iron curtain that is my new sports bra (though after 6 plus miles of zero bounce, I have to say God love you, Moving Comfort), I was just not feeling it.

Maybe I should just turn around. How am I ever going to run 26.2? What the eff was I thinking?! Then I turned a corner, literally, and looked at my watch to realize I had utterly wasted almost 2.5 miles of what could still be a great run.

As I was peeling off my gloves and shoving them in my waistband because this glorious weather just didn't require them anymore I found myself thinking, Get over yourself! I'm sure there are orphans in the Sudan who don't cry over lip-gloss and bubble gum. I picked up the pace, fell into stride and caught my breath. I kept setting my sites on landmarks, passing them, and setting sites again. I looked down at one point and was about to go into a snit when I thought my watch had stopped timing, but it was just zeroed out because I'd looked down at just the point that I caught up to my virtual Pam and was pulling ahead.

Zen took over and I started to think that maybe my kids weren't so bad after all. When I got home, I'd have a rational conversation with them, and try to be a better model of how I want them to act. Nobody likes mean mommy.

Another glance told me I was 15 seconds ahead of Pam now, no way was I going to take a walking break. Since I've started using my garmin, I'd yet to beat my virtual training partner and I'd be damned if I was going to lose that chance now! As I turned into my little neighborhood, I realized I'd beat my last 10k time by almost four minutes, and I'd run a half-mile further.

A quick stroll down the block and back to cool down and I was ready to greet the rest of the day with a clear head and a positive attitude. I'm so glad that I rediscovered running for more reasons that I can name with perhaps the greatest being that I know I'm a better mother when I've given myself the gift of time. And lipgloss and gum.

With the real Pam in Massachusetts after what I still feel was my best run ever. 11.7 miles of sheer bliss through the country-side with some wicked hills and I ran the whole thing!


  1. You are awesome Sara--way to push through and get the run done!!

  2. I'm also glad that you kept going or else you would have gone home just as frustrated as when you left! Good job on sticking to your run.

  3. I love that you curse "Pam" out. :) If it helps at all, real Pam was running 8 miles in 1 degree weather this morning. And she LOVED it...despite trying to think of any and every excuse/reason she could to NOT run!